On Line Dating
Safety Tips
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Start slow
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. Begin
by communicating solely via
Match.com Messenger or email, then look for odd behavior
or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not be
who or what he or she says. Trust your instincts. If
anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own
safety and protection.
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Guard your
anonymity
All correspondence between
Match.com members takes place through our double-blind
system, ensuring your true identity is protected until you
decide to reveal it. Never include your last name, email
address, home address, phone number, place of work or any
other identifying information in your free profile or
initial messages. When corresponding with another
Match.com member, turn off your email signature file.
Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for
personal information or attempts in any way to trick you
into revealing it.
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Exercise caution
and common sense
Careful, thoughtful
decisions generally yield better dating results. Guard
against trusting the untrustworthy; suitors must earn your
trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright
behavior. Take all the time you need to test for a
trustworthy person and pay careful attention along the way.
If you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably is, so
act accordingly. Be responsible about romance, and don뭪
fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don뭪
become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that
intimacy only occurs online. If you mutually decide to cross
the point of no return, be smart and protect yourself. The
U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provide some
of the most
current information available about sexually transmitted
diseases and preserving your health.
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Request a photo
A photo will give you a
good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove
helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it뭩
best to view several images of someone in various settings:
casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you hear are
excuses about why you can't see a photo, consider that he or
she has something to hide. Since
Match.com offers free scanning services to its members,
there뭩
no reason someone shouldn뭪
be able to provide you a photo.
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Chat on the phone
A phone call can reveal
much about a person뭩
communication and social skills. Consider your security and
do not reveal your personal phone number to a stranger. Try
a cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking
techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in
Caller ID. Only furnish your phone number when you feel
completely comfortable.
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Meet when YOU are
ready
The beauty of meeting and
relating online is that you can collect information
gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship
in the offline world. You never are obligated to meet
anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And
even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the
right to change your mind. It뭩
possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the
anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can뭪
logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.
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Watch for red flags
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or
attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a
passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful
comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all
red flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any
of the following behavior without providing an acceptable
explanation:
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Provides inconsistent
information about age, interests, appearance, marital
status, profession, employment, etc.
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Refuses to speak to
you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online
intimacy.
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Fails to provide
direct answers to direct questions.
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Appears significantly
different in person from his or her online persona.
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Never introduces you
to friends, professional associates or family members.
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Meet in a safe
place
When you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where
you are going and when you will return. Leave your date뭩
name and telephone number with your friend. Never arrange
for your date to pick you up at home. Provide your own
transportation, meet in a public place at a time with many
people around, and when the date is over, leave on your own
as well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time
when a lot of other people will be present, is often a fine
choice. If you decide to move to another location, take your
own car. When the timing is appropriate, thank your date for
getting together and say goodbye.
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Take extra caution
outside your area
If you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own
car and hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel
and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you.
Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel.
Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you
have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate
or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your date
at that location or leave a message on a home machine.
Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans
and has your contact information. And if possible, carry a
cell phone at all times.
Get yourself out of a jam
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way
afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the
situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to
call a friend for advice, ask someone else on the scene for help
or slip out the back door and drive away. If you feel you are in
danger, call the police; it뭩
always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel
embarrassed about your behavior; your safety is much more
important than one person뭩
opinion of you.
While liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft on
the Web, you뭠l
also find them in nightclubs and offline dating services,
cocktail parties or even sitting across from you at your local
caf? Regardless of where you meet someone, dating is never a
risk-free activity, but a little caution will reduce your risk
in matters of the heart.
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